She runs her hand slowly down my right butt cheek, probing for crevasses with her powerful fingers. 她的手缓慢滑过我（记者）的右侧臀部，强有力的手指探寻着皮肤罅隙。
“I see a new job opportunity coming up for you in December,” Bibian Arango says, as she looks carefully at my ass to prognosticate my future. “我看到今年12月，你将会有一个全新的工作机会，”比比安•阿兰戈一边说着，一边仔细观察我的臀部，为我预测未来。
A soft, meditative tune plays in the background. I feel my cheeks relax. 在舒缓、引人沉思的背景音乐中，我感到自己的臀部无比放松。
“The next couple of years are very prosperous, but you have to watch what you’re eating because you could have problems in your lower stomach,” the psychic says. “接下来几年你会很成功，但得注意饮食，因为你的胃的下部有些问题，”这位通灵巫师说。
Arango sees several butts each week in her Lima office, a small room packed with statuettes of Catholic Saints, magic potions and a three-foot mural of Sheeva, the Hindu God. 在她位于利马的办公室，每周会给好几个人看屁相。这间办公室里挂满天主教圣徒的雕像、魔法药水以及三英寸的印度之神西瓦的壁画。
The Colombia-born psychic says she’s one of the world’s few experts in rumpology, a pseudo-scientific discipline that devines people’s futures and analyzes their personalities by studying the features of their buttocks, and feeling out the general shape of their ass. 这位出生于哥伦比亚的巫师表示，她是世上少有的屁相学专家。屁相学其实是一门伪科学，通过研究人们臀部的特点以及感知臀部形状，以预测未来并分析他们的性格特点。
“Some people think it’s a joke, but I don’t really care,” Arango says in a distinct Colombian accent. “I predicted that Shakira was going to have babies with a soccer player…just by looking at a picture of her butt.” “有人认为这是闹着玩的，但我并不介意他们的看法，”阿兰戈说话带有浓厚的哥伦比亚口音。“我曾预测夏奇拉（Shakira）将和一名足球运动员生小孩，这仅仅通过看她屁股的照片就可以推测出来了。”
Rumpology has been most widely promoted in the states by Sylvester Stallone’s mother Jacqueline Stallone, a self-styled astrologist and psychic who claims that the ancient Egyptians and Greeks made imprints of their butts on papyrus, and used that to predict the future. There’s no archaeological evidence to support the claim that ancient civilizations read each other’s butts, but it’s fun to imagine. 屁相学的广泛推广要归功于西尔维斯特•史泰龙的母亲杰奎琳•史泰龙。这位自诩为占卜家兼巫师的女士声称，古埃及人和古希腊人将臀部的印痕记录在纸莎草上，并以此预测未来。虽然还没有考古学证据表明古代文明有相互看屁相的习惯，但想象一下还是挺有趣的。
In Peru, where cigars, coca leaves, and tarot cards, are commonly used to tell the future, Arango’s method—and personality— stand out. For the past couple years, the pink haired spiritual guru has hosted a daily segment on Peru’s largest TV channel, where she reads tarot cards, talks about the horoscope, and frequently does live readings of local celebrities’ bums. 在秘鲁，雪茄、可可叶、塔罗牌都是预测未来的常用工具，而阿兰戈的方法——乃至其自身性格——相当与众不同。过去几年，这位粉色头发的精神领袖在秘鲁最大的电视频道主持了一档日播节目，节目中的她看着塔罗牌，讨论占星术，并经常现场为当地名人看屁相。
“I have no doubt that Rumpology exists,” Arango says back in her office, as she shows me a colorful poster of her TV show. “屁相学的存在是毫无疑问的，”阿兰戈说着回到办公室，并向我展示了一张其电视节目的彩色海报。
I asked her to give me more details of how it works, and she provided a crash course on the world’s main butt types. 我让她提供更多有关屁相学原理的细节信息时，她拿出了有关世界主要臀部种类的速成课程。
According to Arango, the main butt types include the inverted heart [think Kim Kardashian], the square looking flat butt –aka the ‘boy’ butt— the V-shaped butt, and the round butt. 根据阿兰戈的理论，主要的臀部类型包括倒心形（想想金•卡戴珊）、扁方型（即“男孩”式的臀部）、V型以及圆形臀部。
1 2 3 4 5 下一页 1 2 3 4 5 下一页
已有0人发表了评论